The Wonder Years

I often wonder how they’ll think about this time in their lives when they’re older.

PJ mentioned last night how fun it is right now with the ages they are. They’re kind of just discovering what they like and don’t like, how they want to dress and present themselves to the world (or at least, to their friends in school), what they like to eat, etc. It’s a time of wonder and discovery, both for them and us. I think that sense of discovery will (hopefully) be happening for the rest of their lives, it’s just right now is so fun because they can all finally articulate it with words.

They’re all coming into their own with very distinct, different personalities.

On Saturday, the boys won their second soccer game in a row and celebrated the wins with popsicles, which I’m sure was a nice way to cool down since it was in the 80’s all weekend. I didn’t pack any sunscreen for us at the game, so PJ and I both ended up being burnt from sitting in the hot sun for over two hours. There is always a list of things to bring to each event and I seem to always forget to pack one thing on it. Go figure!

And since when did it become summer all of the sudden?

Speaking of hot weather, as it’s gotten warmer, we’ve all found ourselves spending more and more time outside. At the farm and at Getaway House, the kids sprint out of the car as soon as we park and head towards the nearest tree to climb or animal to pick up and play with. Yes, I worry about them falling off or get scraped up, but I’m telling myself to let go more and just let them be. PJ is so much better about that than I am.

I often wonder how the kids will think about this time in their lives, or if they’ll remember it at all. I know the two of us will think about it years down the road possibly as the golden years; maybe some of the best times of our lives, and I know we’ll miss this time once it’s passed.

For all the small, little frustrations that come with parenting, I’m finding the big picture to be quite beautiful.

Allan is 7!!!

Allan Lee Jasper is 7!!!

It seems crazy to type that, because I swear he was just 4 yesterday, with long hair and a smaller vocabulary. My, how time has flown by in the blink of an eye. We’ve determined, over the last few years, that time in fact means nothing anymore.

We celebrated our oldest’s birthday this past weekend, first with a trip to the Creative Discovery Museum in Chattanooga, and then with cake and presents on his actual birthday on Sunday. The kids’ grandmother, aunt and uncle all came over and it was so sweet to just celebrate our boy with family. We feel so blessed to have such a good relationship with their paternal side of the family; we know it’s not always the case so we’re extra grateful for that.

Allan is 7 and right now he loves dinosaurs, climbing trees, playing video games, reading, helping out, and playing basketball. He is a classic oldest child, always aiming to please as much as he can. He is so full of life that it’s infectious, always finding ways to spread joy to everyone he meets. 

What would we do without our big, sweet, lovable boy?

Is Dad Brain a Real Thing?

Ever since becoming parents almost three years ago, I’ve felt more scattered brained than usual.

No one would ever accuse me of being the most organized person in the world, especially before kids, but it seems like the last few years have been especially challenging when it comes to remembering little, every day things. It’s most noticeable when I am talking and I am about to say a word, literally any word, and it completely slips my mind. Poof. Gone. It takes a few moments for the word I was thinking of to come to me, and when it does, I always think to myself, why did it take me so long to remember the word “charger” or “remote”?

As the years have gone on and parenthood has become our new normal, things have gotten easier and I am less forgetful of the big things (homework, sports practices, packing waters and food, etc.), but every time I struggle on a word, it’s a glaring reminder of something I can’t help but wonder: Is dad brain a real thing?

I began to research, and after only a few clicks, I was immediately relived. Yes, dad brain is a real thing! Just like mom brain. Maybe we should just call it “parent brain”?

According to an article by Bahar Gholipour on Livescience.com, dads experience a hormonal change when they become parents. He writes, “Studies in animals and people show that new fathers experience an increase in the hormones estrogen, oxytocin, prolactin and glucocorticoids, according to a recent review of studies by psychologist Elizabeth Gould and colleagues from Princeton University.”

Hugh Wilson from daddlife.com attributed being a new dad to feeling like he was “Three drinks into a big night out, all the time. And without having had a drink.”

He put it into words. 

Not only does our brain actually change on a chemical level when we become dads, just as it does with moms, but with the added tasks of now keeping up with another human life (or in our case, three), it is easy to see how our brains can only handle so much information at a time before they just start to…forget things.

My older sister, a mom of six, always says when she feels overloaded, she has used up all of her “bandwidth” and that she has nothing left in her for the day. I resonate with that so much, and that’s exactly how I would describe how I feel at the end of each day.

In an article for The Independent, a new study shows that “Men become better at multitasking, more empathic, and more forgetful as they help raise their young child.” The more I read, the more it all started to make sense. It’s a normal part of parenthood and being a parent, and no matter if you’re a mom or a dad or anyone raising a child, maybe you’ve experienced more forgetfulness that usual, too.

So there you have it. While it may be frustrating at times, parenthood has changed me (and us) in a million more profound, important ways than just forgetting things every now and then.

I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

The Soccer Practice That Almost Didn’t Happen

We signed the boys up for soccer this year as another sport they could play in the spring, after they loved basketball this past winter (and we loved watching them). They had their second practice last night, and things didn’t start out so well.

For their first practice last week, we showed up 10 minutes late with no soccer balls, no cleats, and no shin guards. They were the only kids on the field without all of those necessities and it was one of those “Oh no, we are those parents” moments. But it’s all a learning process! Needless to say, we were more prepared this week.

We got to practice this week 10 minutes early and had everything we needed, because there’s nothing like forgetting everything the week before to make you never want to experience that feeling again. I even remembered to bring snacks and waters for everyone, and PJ brought a mat so we could sit on the grass while they practiced. Everything was great. Well, almost everything.

On the way there, Riah was super quiet and distant, looking out the window the entire time and not saying a word. We kept asking if he was okay and he just kept saying his tummy was hurting. We asked if he was nervous and he said he was, which, if I’m being honest, was hard to hear. Both PJ and I talked about how we used to get so nervous while playing sports growing up, so we knew how he felt. Big time. 

I figured he would be more relaxed once we got there and he saw all the kids on the field playing and having fun, but he wasn’t having it. He started to cry when we told him it was time to go out on the field, and he fell into my lap, wrapping his arms around my neck. I could feel my heart sink. Where was this coming from? Riah had been the one who was looking forward to soccer the most, always kicking the basketball around on the ground pretending it was a soccer ball. He loved soccer, so why was he so nervous?

After we told him he didn’t have to go out on the field and practice, we sat with him for a while before PJ suggested they kick the ball around in the grass behind us for a bit. So he, Anna and Riah began playing a little. And then a little more. And suddenly Riah was running all over the place, laughing and giving it his all and visibly having a good time. No more sick tummy!

PJ asked if he felt like going out on the field with his teammates and Riah enthusiastically told him yes. PJ had done it! He warmed Riah up, got him more relaxed, and showed him how much fun he could have if he just tried it out. So practice resumed and all was well.

Later that night, as I was tucking Riah into bed, I asked him why he thinks he felt nervous before practice. His response was honest and heartfelt.

”I just wanted alone time and everything.”

More than the other two, Riah loves to play and be alone, and quite often, he’s completely fine with doing his own thing. He likes what he likes and, what I love most, he knows what he likes and doesn’t usually stray from it. Maybe he just needed more time to process the day and get ready for practice.

So there you have it. That’s how you save a soccer practice that almost didn’t happen. Another day, another new experience with these sweet babies. It’s a learning process for us all, isn’t it?

A Fun Twist on Sunday Night Dinner

The other day, PJ had a genius idea to switch up dinner and make it more fun for the kids.

It was Sunday, nap time and all three kids were sound asleep. PJ turned and looked at me and asked what we should make for dinner (since we’re trying to eat at home more). I had taken a few chicken breasts out of the freezer and was marinating them in the fridge, but that was as far as I had gotten. Anything was game at this point.

As we were talking, we were sipping on glasses of wine and munching on charcuterie that PJ had poured straight onto the island in the kitchen. No plates, no cutting boards, nothing. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. What if, he suggested, we turn the island into a giant charcuterie board and let the kids eat whatever they want off of it? No saying they have to eat this or they have to eat that; whatever they wanted to eat, they could pick up and take and just leave the rest. 

GENIUS.

Their favorite food group is chips and crackers. They could eat both for every meal and be just fine. So PJ included plenty of each, along with healthier options like strawberries, grapes, carrots, various nuts, hummus, and stuff to make a grilled chicken burrito. I made a simple creamy pesto pasta, because as Stanley Tucci says, there’s room for pasta at every meal.

After that, all that was left to do was wake the kids. In an effort to make it feel like a real restaurant, at PJ’s suggestion, we dressed in black from head to toe, grabbed a few of our cloth napkins and draped them over our arms, and woke them up by requesting their presence in the kitchen. 

They were ecstatic. They had so much fun grabbing whatever they wanted (truly no rules!) and piling it onto their plate. We ate dinner in the living room and watched the new Cheaper by the Dozen movie. And it was so nice. They were happy, we were happy, and everything was great.

PJ has been really good lately about loosening up with the kids and creating more spontaneous, fun events for them. I could stand to learn a thing or two about how to “let go” and let things be. I get into a routine and I sometimes forget to switch things up every now and then and just have fun. 

Feeling extra grateful for PJ and his wacky, fun, inspiring ideas, and feeling thankful we get to experience them together as a family.

Style Inspiration From Our 5 Year Old

Lately, when Riah, 5, gets dressed for school in the mornings, he does one thing every time that cracks us up.

He rolls the bottoms of his jeans up! I have no idea where he learned this from (a friend at school? a TV show?) but we think it’s the cutest thing ever. He does it every single time without fail and has never explained it one way or the other. I can’t say when he started doing it, but I started noticing it about a month ago and suddenly I’m obsessed.

Yes, this is me currently taking style notes from our 5 year old son. These things can’t be taught. When you know, you know!!!

Anna Behind the Camera

We don’t ever let the kids have our phones, and they’ve learned not to even ask. But every once in a while, Anna will grab my phone and just start taking pictures or recording video (as evident in our last vlog), and yesterday she produced these gems of me playing and dancing with the kids.

Please notice the progression of me just thinking she’s holding my phone to then realizing she’s actually wildly snapping away. The storyline! The angles! She’s a natural.

Happy Tuesday!