On Having Kids

It’s a question we get time and time again, so let’s finally explore it today.

In short, yes we want kids! We have known we’ve wanted kids since about a month into our relationship, actually. One memory sticks out in particular: it was our first out of town trip together where we stayed over night. We went to Six Flags in Georgia and we were waiting in line for a rollercoaster. For the life of us we can’t remember why, but we suddenly started talking about our future son’s name and how we liked the sound of two particular names together. We both smiled and knew, even then, that we were on the same page when it came to wanting to start and having a family.

Then there were a couple of years after that where we weren’t so sure. PJ’s mom had his little sister when PJ was 20, and he sort of got a taste of what it would be like to have a little kid during those first couple of years, and let’s just say it somewhat turned him off to having kids for a while. He loves his little sister, but it just reassured him that he wasn’t in the right mindset for kids at that time, because the thought of having a little person running around needing something from you 24/7 did not sound appealing to him at the time.

(PJ with his little sister and mom)

(Thomas-far right- with his brother and younger sister)

As his sister got older, though, she grew out of that difficult phase of life that little kids go through and the idea of kids started to sound good again. Around that time, we also moved into our first house together and then, a few months later, we got married and settled down. The thought of starting a little family became almost a daily conversation at that point, but then the show happened. Remember when we filmed a TV pilot for HGTV about fixing up Thomas’ childhood home? It took up a year and a half of our time from the beginning of buying it to the end of filming & promoting it, so we knew kids weren’t going to be in the equation during that time.

But, once we were finished filming for the show and the premiere came and went, and the promotion for it was over, we started revisiting the idea of kids again. We had moved into our house and were getting settled in, and then…the traveling started. For most of 2018 we were on a plane or in a city that wasn’t our own, exploring and learning and growing as individuals and as a couple. We had never been outside of the US together before last year and we loved every bit of it. We told ourselves 2018 was going to be the year of travel and man, was it ever. Again, we put our plans for kids on hold, though we did spend a lot of time last year doing Skype calls and talking with different surrogacy and adoption agencies, and even got accepted into a few of the programs. We also signed up to take courses to be foster parents. Though with all of the last minute traveling, we decided to put those plans on hold yet again.

(PJ and his older sister with their dog, Thunder)

This year, though, we feel more ready than we ever have before. We have so many plans for 2019 business-wise, but also personal ones, too. We decided to put it out there that we want kids, either through surrogacy, adoption, foster-to-adopt, etc. We are open to it all and can’t wait to start a family and raise kids in the same house Thomas grew up in. We were hesitant to share it with everyone at first, as we wanted to keep it as close to home as we could, but we’ve realized so many of you have gone through this same situation and may have some of the answers to our many questions. We also want to share our experience and the knowledge we will learn from all of this with y’all, in case you’re going through or will soon be going through the same process.

We will be giving you updates along the way on whatever avenue we decide to take, or whatever road presents itself to us. We are big believers of putting stuff out into the universe and the universe giving it back to you if you work and believe hard enough. We can’t thank y’all enough for your support and for being here with us through everything. We’re excited to start this next chapter and will bring you along through each step. For now, if you want to watch our YouTube video on having kids, you can click here!

Oh, and we still plan to use the same name we picked out nine years ago when we were still just beginning our relationship. We can’t wait to introduce you to them.