May We Carry the Spirit of Pride All Year Long

As we enter July and leave probably one of the strangest Pride months behind, despite everything, we’re feeling optimistic for the future, and not just for the LGBTQ+ community, but as a whole.

Remember when we all thought March seemed like the longest month in existence? June has officially beaten that. So much change happened, or started happening, this month, don’t you think? We all finally started talking about important topics, especially Black Lives Matter. We’ve said it many times before, but it feels different now. There’s no going back from this momentum and it will be up to all of us to carry it forward forever until we no longer have to. Until Black lives are not lost at the hands of those sworn to protect them. Not sure if that’s going to be in our lifetime or not (we can dream though), but that shouldn’t deter any of us from trying.

Along with Black Lives Matter, Pride looked and felt differently this year for us and for many others. It was quieter maybe, less social. It was virtual, mostly, with no public celebrations that we saw due to the virus. Again, such a strange Pride month, but at the end of the day, Pride is what you make of it. Of course it helps to have in-person support from friends and family, and we’re not gonna lie, celebrating with others makes it so much more fun, but before you can celebrate and party with others, you must first accept the love and Pride within yourself.

And we don’t mean you have to come out to those around you to have Pride, but you must accept yourself, fully, to truly be happy. You must realize your worth, that you are worth it, every second of every hour of every month of every year. You are always welcome at the table, even when you don’t feel that you are. Even if you think no one cares about you or that something is wrong with you for being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Because guess what? There isn’t anything wrong with you. You are exactly who you’re supposed to be and you are more than enough. Please believe and never forget that.

We feel confident in saying ANY and all of this because we’ve felt those feelings. Before we came out, we had feelings of doubt, insecurity, worthlessness, fear, hatred, and a million other negative thoughts. And we’d be lying if we said we don’t still sometimes feel like that, because we’re human and we have our ups and downs like everyone else, but they no longer come from a place of self-loathing. Once we accepted ourselves as gay men who can’t control or change (and wouldn’t even if we could) our sexuality as much as we can’t change the weather, we felt a lightness in our souls. We felt more free. All of those years of suppressing and hiding who we truly are were finally over and we could breathe a sigh of relief. The world didn’t end when we came out like we maybe thought it would. It didn’t end at all. In fact, in a way, it began.

We know that not everyone has the privilege to come out and be accepted by society, and that, for many, coming out is scarier and even more dangerous than staying in the closet. To be clear, coming out was one of the scariest things we’d ever done, even when we were confident our families would accept us. It will always be scary. Liberating, but scary. But there are those that society favors more than others, and it’s heartbreaking to realize some people won’t be accepted as easily as others, just because of the color of their skin, how they identify, etc. Even within the LGBTQIA+ community, there is more support for certain groups of people than others. It’s not fair, and it’s up to all of us to make sure we do our part so that everyone, no matter what they identify as or what they look like or where they come from, feels accepted and welcomed.

When we took the photo at the top of this post, we felt a liberation, a Pride that felt…different than before. Our land is located in a tiny town (around 1,200 people) out in the middle of nowhere, so it’s most likely the first time a Pride flag has been flown on it. Things can change, and will change, over time, but it’s going to take all of us to do our part- speak up, be loud and proud and unapologeticly yourself (if you feel safe enough) in order to see the change. Because when you have the courage to be yourself, amazing, beautiful things can happen.

We are sending you all a big virtual hug and hope we all carry the spirit of pride 365 days a year. And may we always remember: I belong. You belong. We belong.

Happy Pride, friends. xo