Genius Advice for When You (or Your Kids) Are Bored

I was randomly flipping through one of my favorite books the other day when I came across this perfect piece of advice that, for some reason, had never occurred to me before…

The book is called Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all the small stuff by Dr. Richard Carlson. The tagline is: “Simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life.” It’s an older book, first coming out in 1997, but the words written are still true as ever.

The 18th chapter in the book is called: Allow Yourself to Be Bored. Dr. Carlson writes,

“For many of us, our lives are so filled with stimuli…that it’s almost impossible for us to sit still and do nothing, much less relax. A friend a mine said to me, ‘People are no longer human beings. We should be called human doings.’”

Human doings!! Makes sense, right?

He goes on to say that he was first introduced to the idea that sporadic boredom can actually be a good thing while he was studying with a therapist in the small town of La Conner, Washington. After their class one evening, he asked the therapist what there was to do for fun in the little town. The therapist answered him by saying, “What I’d like you to do is allow yourself to be bored. Do nothing. This is part of your training.”

At first, Dr. Carlson says he thought the therapist was joking because who would ever choose to be bored? But, after a lot of practice, he says he learned the art of relaxing, of just being, rather than doing. He explains there isn’t a specific technique other than to intentionally do nothing: “Just sit still, perhaps look out the window and notice your thoughts and feelings. At first you may get a little anxious, but each day it will get a little easier. The payback is tremendous.”

He closes out the chapter by saying, “When you allow yourself to be bored, it takes an enormous amount of pressure off you to be performing and doing something every second of every day.” He shares that, now, when either of his two children say to him, “Daddy, I’m bored.” he responds with, “Great, be bored for a while, It’s good for you. Once I say this,” he explains, “they always give up on the idea of me solving their problem. You probably never thought someone would actually suggest that you allow yourself to be bored. I guess there’s a first for everything!”

And just like that, I have my answer for the next time our kids tell me they’re bored. There’s a first for everything, indeed.