The Most Magical Day

PJ made my 30th birthday the most special one I’ve ever had. I filmed the whole thing so I could always remember it (though what I filmed doesn’t quite capture the magic and love I felt that day), so if you want to see how we spent the day in video form, you can click here and watch yesterday’s vlog. In the meantime, if you’re in a blog reading mood, here are some photos from my birthday:

We stayed at Holiday House the night before, so PJ sent me home that morning to get ready for some sort of surprise he had planned that afternoon. I will admit, it felt strange being home by myself on my birthday while my family was at Holiday House; the silence was a little too loud, but I knew PJ must have had something pretty special up his sleeve.

I walked in the front door to find this waiting for me on the dining room table:

There were flowers, money, and a note with instructions on it to watch a portion of a new show he found on The Magnolia Network called Growing Floret. I was texting him during all of this, per his instructions, letting him know when I had completed each task. It was all so exciting and thoughtful. My heart was racing. I couldn’t believe he had planned all of this.

“Standby”.

How cute is he? He then texted me a link to a video he made where he explains the big gift on the table and why it means so much to him, and why he is giving it to me for my birthday. Naturally, I cried like a baby. To find out why it’s so special, you can watch the vlog because he explains it better than I ever could.

How did I get so lucky?

After that, I hopped in the shower and got ready. I then waited in the living room until 12:30p, and right on the dot, the doorbell rang. I expected it to be PJ all dressed up to take me somewhere, but I was even more surprised when my mom opened the door!

For some reason it didn’t click what was going on, and I ridiculously told her it was such a coincidence that she happened to stop by while I was there! How did she know I was home?! (facepalm). I then put two and two together and realized SHE was the surprise! She grabbed the money on the table and said “Let’s go to lunch!”. So off we went to my favorite Italian restaurant in town, where we had appetizers and drank wine in the middle of the afternoon (something I’ve never done before!) and ate pasta and chocolate molten cake.

I haven’t eaten with my mom, alone, in an actual restaurant, in years. This was also only the second time I’ve eaten inside a restaurant in over a year (we took the kids to see their aunt a few weeks back at a place she works at and ate inside when it was slow, just to feel a resemblance of normalcy again, and it completely made our entire week).

It was funny: five minutes after sitting down, she said to me, “I want you to take a deep breath, and clear your mind. I can tell you have a million things going through your head right now but I want you to try and be present in this moment.”

And she was right. I was thinking about PJ and the kids; I was wondering what they would eat for lunch or if little sis would have an accident in her big girl panties; I was thinking of all of the emails I had to reply to that had come in in the last few hours. We have been going, going, going, for so long now that I don’t think I remembered how to just be, which I felt sad about right after she said it because when would I get the chance to be alone with my mom at a nice restaurant again? If this last year has taught us all anything, it’s that life is extremely short and nothing is permanent and every moment with a loved one should be cherished.

So I turned my phone over and let it all go for an hour or two. And it felt nice. Everything else outside of that restaurant would work itself out and be okay whenever we were finished eating. Sometimes it just takes some of your mom’s advice to remember that.

After lunch, we walked around downtown for a bit, sat on a park bench and took a selfie (at my mom’s request, which she is still trying to perfect).

We went back home and she gave me a few birthday presents, which I was not expecting! Remember when I wrote about this book? She knew how much I loved it and gave me a copy! She also ordered me a caftan because she knows how much I’ve been loving them lately, especially out at Holiday House, and she found the most perfect white linen one with short sleeves that I’ve already been living in the last few days.

Isn’t it so nice when you receive gifts you genuinely love, from people you love?

After that, she left and I stayed home for about an hour or so to get some work done in the peace and quiet, which, again, I didn’t love as much as I thought I would. We’re so used to noise and little feet and even littler feet (with our dogs and cat) running around, that I’ve gotten used to that just being a part of life’s sounds and it felt strange not hearing my family around me. Maybe one day I’ll be able to enjoy the silence more, but I’m in no rush. I quite like the beautiful chaos of being a family of five right now.

I came back to Holiday House and gave my family the biggest hugs. PJ was doing some yard work, so I put dinner in the oven and relaxed on the couch for a bit with little sis (also something I don’t get to do enough). I was somewhat out of sorts from all the food and the cake and the glass of wine (all too much too soon!), so it felt good to lay down with her for a while as she tried to guess my age. Every time I asked her how old she thought I was, she would just answer “happy birthday!” 😂.

We ate dinner and then PJ had me take a walk for a bit for one last surprise. I was honestly so flabbergasted that all of this was happening that I didn’t know what to expect. As I’ve gotten older, birthdays and celebrating them have meant less and less to me. Not because I don’t like getting older, I actually love it and was so excited to turn 30, but because there’s been a big mental shift for me last few years, really since having the kids.

I don’t so much love the attention on myself anymore, and would rather focus that energy on them (especially because they require so much of our energy right now). Does that make sense? I know I won’t always feel like this, but since we’re technically still new to parenthood (just under 2 years!), I think I’m feeling what every new parent does, and it feels right to me at this time.

I came back in from occupying myself to find streamers and balloons and Bossa Nova music playing and a big cake and cookies all over the house! It was magical. And the kids were yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY as loud as they could and it was the cutest thing ever. How did PJ do all of this in such a short amount of time? The world will never know, but I know how much it meant to me and how I will never forget that day. And it was all because of him.

Though I didn’t know what to expect, somehow my 30th birthday was exactly how I would have always wanted it. And even though we spent it in a in-the-middle-of-a-renovation trailer, in the middle of a pandemic (for the second year), it was still everything I could have imagined and so much more, and it was all thanks to PJ. I can confidently say, 11 years in, I’ve never been more in love with my husband, for reasons far greater than a birthday celebration, but that day was a solid reminder of how blessed I am with PJ.

To quote Virginia Woolfe, he is, “in every way, all that anyone could be”. He is the love of my life, and I feel very, very happy right now.