What If Things Don’t Get Better?

Today, as we enter our fourth week of the kids being at school, a mandatory face mask policy will be in full effect for the foreseeable future in an effort to protect students as much as possible.

And I’m glad, truly, that the school is taking the pandemic as seriously as it is, especially as cases in our state continue to go up. I feel our kids are in good hands. I feel informed about the policies and precautions the school is taking to make sure all kids are safe. I feel like our kids know what to do without having to be told: wash their hands regularly, keep their distance, wear a mask. I feel like we’re doing the best we can during this difficult, tricky time.

But still, a dark thought came into my mind the other day and I couldn’t help but wonder: what if things don’t get better? What if the pandemic, or the virus, is here to stay? What if our children’s childhood is shaped by masks and policies and mandates and social distancing and the constant fear of getting sick (and worse)? 

I read memes and posts shared on Facebook about how we can’t live in fear because that’s not really living at all, and I completely agree. Still, I believe there’s a difference between living in fear and being reckless. To be honest, though social distancing and wearing a mask and being cautious is in the back of my mind daily, I don’t feel like I live in fear or constantly worry about us getting sick, and I think that’s because we’ve made the necessary changes over the last year and a half and have implemented the policies into our lives and they’ve become, for better or worse, our new normal. They’re just part of our day to day now, actions we take and decisions we make to ensure the safety of our family and friends.

Even though these thoughts and actions and worries have become part of our normal lives (though I will say, I don’t particularly love the word “normal” in general to describe anything), it’s still a harsh pill to swallow to think that things might not ever get better. Or at least not for a long time. As people keep refusing to take the vaccines for various reasons, and people continue to not wear a mask or social distance, it seems the bridge connecting us to life going back to the way it was before is getting wider and wider. It feels borderline impossible at times, and overwhelming at best.

Truthfully, what I fear for most is our moms’ health. They’re in a specific age range, one that leaves them at risk of being the greatest affected by this virus, much more so (I’ve read) than us or the kids. I want to get through this before anything happens to either of them. I don’t know if I could take it.

These thoughts, along with the current crisis in Afghanistan and New Orleans, two very different events that have forced millions of people to flee their homes and, in some cases, left them without homes to return to, have been on my mind lately. How can we help? What can we do? Sometimes I feel so powerless to help, because I’m trying to gets the kids to school or make dinner or give our dog her heart failure medication, or PJ is taking care of the farm or working on the flip house, etc. etc. etc. Basically, life happens and you feel like you could use a helping hand every now and then. But when you really think about it, none of those things compare to losing a loved one to the virus, or losing your home, your freedom, or your rights.

I suppose there’s no real ending to this post, just thoughts jotted down in an effort to help me process and make some sense of it all. Though, is there ever a way to make sense of the senseless? Should we even try? I’ve determined all we can do is do our best to take care of ourselves, our family, and those in need. If we’re doing that, then we’re on the right path.

PS: Here is a list of ways to help in Afghanistan, if you can.