Are You Afraid of Dying?

I know. Not the most upbeat question to ask, but it’s something that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately.

The first thought that crosses my mind is, of course everyone is afraid of dying, aren’t they? How could you not be? Leaving this world behind and everyone you love in it has to be daunting, doesn’t it? Then again, I know realistically that some people don’t, in fact, fear death, for various reasons. I guess that’s what makes the world go ‘round. I’m not one of those people.

I received an extremely sweet package in the mail the other day from a distant cousin of mine, and in the accompanying letter, he shared with me he has stage 4 cancer. My heart sank when I read that. I don’t know him personally, but he’s someone I’ve been in contact with over the years on social media, and he’s such a caring and genuine soul. I hope my family and I will get to meet him in person at a reunion this summer.

I read that, and then we’ve been watching a lot of true crime TV shows recently about people dying, going missing, or both, and then of course with mass shootings happening seemingly every day, and I suddenly got a sick feeling of fear. Death has always seemed like something far off, something that happens when you’re older and something that wouldn’t happen to me for a long time. That’s how I felt when I was younger. Maybe that’s how everyone feels when they’re younger.

Did you know there’s a clinical term for having anxiety over dying? It’s called thanatophobia, and it’s a pretty common thing. According to MedicalNewsToday.com, “The majority of individuals are afraid of death. Most people tend to fear death, but they usually only exhibit low to moderate levels of anxiety.” So if you do fear death, you’re not alone. It’s a completely common thing.

But the very real idea that it is possible to die is becoming more apparent as I get older. And it’s something that, if I’m being honest, I’m scared of. I don’t want to die. I want to live as long as possible and see our kids grow up and maybe have kids of their own one day. What’s even scarier is not knowing how I’ll die. Will I see it coming? Will I suffer? Will it be out of nowhere? These are the questions on my mind lately. Not that I necessarily dwell on them, but they do pop into my head every now and then.

Because of all this, I think it’s made me appreciate life more lately. I’m striving to live every day to the fullest; to take in each moment with my husband and my kids and my family. I think the last few years I’ve been so caught up in work and social media that sometimes the most important things in life get put on the back burner, and I hate that. My goal is to live in the now, and I really feel I’ve been doing that lately, while pursuing things I truly care about.

Death can happen to anyone at any time. I think that’s the scariest part. All of the people I’ve seen pass away recently on the news or in the content I’m consuming have been real people with real live and with things they care about, like maybe they were looking forward to a new movie coming out or they were excited to celebrate a friend’s birthday or paint their bedroom a new color. And they won’t ever get the chance to do any of those things. Death is so finite. That’s another thing that really hits hard when I think about it.

Are you afraid to die? What are your thoughts on it? Maybe reading someone else’s point of view will bring me some comfort.