Why We Stay in Our Little Town Instead of Moving Away

My mom and I were talking on the phone the other night…

As we were talking, she said she had plans to mow her lawn that evening and was going to see if the kids could come over and help her pick up sticks (her yard is pretty big), but something had come over her and suddenly she was too tired to want to do anything, and was now laying down resting.

At this time it was 5 o’clock, so I understood where she was coming from. She had been working all day, she was tired, and it was time to finally relax. PJ was doing the exact same thing on the couch next to me. But I felt a tinge of sadness wash over me at the idea that her lawn would go un-mowed when it desperately needed it, and especially because it was going to rain the next day, which meant she would have to wait even longer to cut it.

So after we hung up, I told the kids to get their shoes on because we’re heading to Sitto’s. I asked PJ if he wanted to come and he said he would love to but he had also been working all day at the farm (which included building a fence, burning wood, mowing, etc.) and was too tired. Again, I understood. So I told him we’d be back as quickly as we could to enjoy the rest of the night together.

We made the short half mile drive over to surprise my mom. We knocked on her door and the kids ran in yelling “We’re here to help!”

She started laughing and thanked us for coming. I told the kids to go straight outside and start picking up every stick they could find in the yard. My mom changed clothes and came out to help, much to my dismay. “We will take care of everything, you rest!” Not happening.

We all began picking up sticks, an activity the kids were really into. I have found that when they feel like they’re truly helping someone and brightening their day, our kids don’t complain about work.

If I ask them to help me pick up the house before PJ gets home because I don’t want him to come home to a messy house after working all day at the farm, they happily oblige. But if I ask them to put their clothes away for no reason other than trying to keep a tidy house, they’re so not into it. Go figure.

Once all the stick were picked up, I put my AirPods in and began mowing. It was a perfect spring day- not too hot and not too cold. It felt good outside, and it felt good to help out. A little while after I started mowing, I look up and see a man walking down the street in front of my mom’s house, and I do a double take.

It was PJ!

My eyes grew wide when I realized it was him and I mouthed, with the biggest smile on my face: “Oh my goodness!!” He decided to come after all!!

He told me he was bored at home by himself and wanted a little exercise, so he ran over. He and my mom immediately began talking about all her plants and flowers and then moved on to playing ball with the kids while I finished up the yard.

After about 45 minutes, the yard was mowed and it was time to relax.

PJ and the kids were playing baseball and running around (which, thank goodness, because the kids had been arguing with each other all. day. long. since getting home from school, and they desperately needed this release of energy) and my mom and I sat on her back porch and watched and talked.

It was so nice. All of it: PJ’s surprise visit, being close enough to my mom to come over at any time, her sending me home with homemade tahini (!), the kids running and laughing in her backyard that’s luckily big enough to accommodate them (very different from our yard). I just felt so grateful for it all.

And that brings me to the question we get all the time from people: Why do we stay here, the same town we grew up in, when we could move away? I mean, we can technically do our job from anywhere, and there seem to be a lot more opportunities in bigger cities like LA and New York City. Why don’t we pack up, sell everything, and move somewhere “better”?

Because somewhere else doesn’t always equal better. Somewhere else doesn’t have our moms right down the road for us to be there for them when they need us and vice versa. Somewhere else doesn’t have the house I grew up in that we’re now raising our own children in. Somewhere else doesn’t have our family, which we’ve come to find is the most important part of life. Somewhere else isn’t here, and we desperately love here.

So while my family played and laughed in front of me, and my mom talked and smiled beside me, suddenly the world felt like a simpler, better place. If only we could do this every night, I thought, then everything would be right in the world. Of course, that’s not true, but it’s how I felt in the moment; like all of life’s problems could be cured if we just spent more time playing, laughing and being together.